There's a realistic fear of posting thoughts and feelings that anyone can read.
So how to say things without sounding like a bitter person, I'm not sure.
I think the issue is how to deal with the fact that my own Church that I've been a part of for the past 21 years let me go. To be fair, the job was only supposed to go through April but the campus pastor liked what was happening so I was asked to stay on only to be let go a month later. It was all very corporate. "We like you, We couldn't have been more happy with what you've done but your last check is on the 15th". When you get fired from a corporation, it's simple you are not supposed to keep going to that building and hang out with the employees. A Church firing is a whole different ball game. Now I go to Church and am not a part of what's going on and then I see the peeps that made the decision to let me go. How do I not take that personally? Being in a church situation, am I allowed to gripe? Am I not seeing the bigger picture? Am I supposed to just accept it and hang around like nothing happened? I'm very confused right now.
Part of my thought process was hoping that this would be a vehicle to get me out of the bar. I have been praying for that for a long time so to have it taken away and actually have to ask for more shifts flinging drinks, makes for a grumpy Doug.
I am trying to be faithful and I want to vent but feel like I don't have the right. I am trying to stay "up" for Kim but I have to admit I want to scream at times.
There's another sobering reality. I can't really hang at the new campus. When I took over, it would have been awkward having my predecessor there diluting any authority. I need to step back and let the new guy do his thing. There are five services at the main campus but with my increased bar hours I can't play there either. All our other campuses are too far away to really contribute so there's not much for me to do now.
A very odd situation to be in. The folks in my band have been incredibly supportive and we are playing one of our remote campuses this coming week so I am very excited about that.
So there it is...
I am trying to get out of my funk but I'm not sure how to to that.
I'll bounce back, be patient.